And here we go again.



I know I get all scared with things that happen but I cannot help it. I am scared thaat everything will go to hell and I will be alone, without him. In fact I don't know what scares me the most: the fact that I may have to live my life without him or with him?

It's not a hard decision, if he was here...beside me right now... but he is too far away, for too long, if I may add. I have no idea what I'm going to do or how this will end.

I miss him, I cannot even describe how much, but .... I don't know what will happen.

And that scares me.. a lot....

Love, Susan

Today

I probably shouldn't start first sentence of my first post with "I", but I cannot help it :D I have been trying to answer some questions realted to my current life conditions and also to see how far I am able to go without feeling guilty about some things.
What I found out is that I don't feel guilty at all. And that's what scares me the most.

Since I still don't have courage to write about the things that happened and that I think might happen in the future, I will stop right here, for now.......


Love, Susan