If I knew what I am doing I would be the luckiest girl in the world. UNfortunately, I am as stupid as I can be, and I am not just saying that, I really mean it. I mean, I tell him one thing and than tonight I tried completely other... So stupid and so not me. I shouldn't be doing this kind of things, at least not until I find everything about my future. Tha is even more confusing. WHat will happen, will it happen, I have no idea about anything actualy.
It seams that I am trapped here, in this moment in time and I have no idea wheter I will have any progress or I will be stuck here for the next 20-30 years.
I wish I could just take one glimpse in a future, just to see waht may happen. Than I might stop doing stupid things and start acting more adult and rational. This is just not the way I am used to see myself.
But all this talk will be for nothing if I am not happy. Right now, I don't think I am. And that is what scares me the most....