Life, love and thinking about it all

So if I cannot answer my questions, what can I do to make this situation more clear? Go there? Hm, it's too far away. I cannot reach him at the moment so I really don't know.
That's why I am so confused and so unsure about what I do. Unfortunately, I have no one who can give me advice. Honestly, I don't think I would take any advice. Not because I don't trust anyone, but because this is too big and too serious to give it to someone else to decide for me.
If only he would call, or answer my email. I would have some questions to be answered and maybe I would get some answers.
Am I afraid of what those answers may be? Of course I am.. I wouldn't be a human if I wasn't afraid.

For now, I'm just gonna have to wait.... again

Love, Susan

10 questions with no answer

Yes I know I have issues, and I know I don't know how to deal with them. It's not easy, it's not smart to be like that but... right now I can't change it. Or at least I think I can't. Running in circles, again. It's really not fair, I'm trying to make decision, well not just one... So here are some questions I need to answer, and I need to be as honest as I can:

1. Do I still love him?

2. Do I want to spend the rest of my life (or many years) with him?

3. Am I ready to move far away from here with him?

4. If I am ready to do that, what are my reasons?

5. Do I want to stay with someone who doesn't feel the way I feel (or am I just imagining that?) ?

6. What about the things that are going on right now?

7. What do I feel about this one?

8. Do I want him to be my friend, or I want more?

9. What does he feel?

10. How should I decide?


If I could answer them, I think everything would be much much easier.... Until then...

Love, Susan

Sometimes, invisibility would be great...

Not only that I got myself into trouble, now I don't know how to get out of it. I am afraid that if I don't stop this right now, it will be too late. I don't want to end up empty handed and alone. Because that is what you get when you're sitting on two chairs. At least, that's what they say.

I can now only hope that I am doing right thing, and that I will be able to chose wisely this time. Maybe I could let my brain help my heart this time and do what's best for me in long term. Not to get all excited and do something in a spur of a moment.

The only thing I can do now is to think and wait. Well, I am so good in waiting, that's for sure


Love, Susan